You typed something like "best marriage books for men" or "book save your marriage alone".
Probably late, and probably after a conversation that didn't go well.
I get it.
I remember when my wife said she wasn't attracted to me any more and wasn't in love with me I felt like a ghost floating from thing to thing week after week.
And a book is usually the first thing a man grabs, because you can read it on your own and she doesn't have to agree to anything.
So here are the ten that husbands keep bringing up on the marriage forums and in their reviews.
One thing before the list.
No book is going to save your marriage for you, and I won't tell you one will.
What a good one does is show you what you couldn't see.
One husband wrote in his review of the first book here, "Opened my eyes to a lot of wrongs I didn't realize I was guilty of."
The Divorce Remedy, by Michele Weiner-Davis
This is the one that comes up most when a wife has already said she wants out.
It's a 7 step program written for the spouse who wants to stay, and you work through it on your own.
One reviewer put it like this, "this one focuses on what to do after you spouse has moved out, taken up with someone else, or has said that she or he wants a divorce."
Good if she's said the word divorce or she's already gone.
It's written for husbands and wives both, so some of it won't be about you.
No More Mr. Nice Guy, by Robert Glover
This book is about you, and the marriage barely comes into it.
It's for the man who keeps the peace, hides what he wants and then gets resentful when nobody notices.
Men on the forums recommend it all the time, and the same men warn about one thing.
If you read it as proof that she's the problem, it'll make you bitter.
Good if you already know you've been a pleaser for years.
His Needs, Her Needs, by Willard Harley
This one is about the emotional needs each of you has and what happens when they go unmet.
It has its own forum (Marriage Builders) where people have been working through it for years.
Good if you two are still talking and you want a shared language for what went missing.
It's written for a couple to read together, which is hard if she's done reading marriage books with you.
The Heroic Husband, by Noah Allen
This one's mine, so weigh that however you want.
I wrote it for the man who's doing fine everywhere in life except at home.
Your wife feels distant, the connection is fading, maybe she's told you she loves you but isn't in love.
It's a leadership-based guide for the husband, and it walks you through the 3 step Emotional Layering Method (ELM).
You read it by yourself and she doesn't need to be on board.
Good if you're done begging and chasing and you want to understand what she's been trying to tell you.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman
Gottman is the researcher almost every marriage video quotes.
This is his main book, with the seven habits he saw in marriages that last and the "Four Horsemen" warning signs.
Good if you want to know what the research says before you trust anybody's opinion (including mine).
It's a couples book with exercises for two, so you'll be doing half of them alone.
The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman
You've probably heard of this one already.
It's about how each person gives and receives love, and why what you're doing for her may not be what she feels.
Good as a first book if you've never read anything on marriage.
It's a general marriage book, so it won't tell you what to do the night she says she's leaving.
This Is How Your Marriage Ends, by Matthew Fray
Fray is a divorced husband, and this book grew out of his essay about leaving dishes by the sink.
He goes back through the small everyday things he brushed off that added up for his wife.
Good if she keeps saying "you don't listen" and you honestly can't see what she means.
He's writing after his divorce, so it's a man looking back.
Winning Your Wife Back Before It's Too Late, by Gary Smalley
This was written for the man whose wife has walked out and who wants her back.
That's a small shelf, most marriage books are written for couples.
It's faith-based, so it'll sit better with you if that's your world.
How to Save Your Marriage Alone, by Ed Wheat
A short faith-based book for when you're the only one trying.
Reviewers are split on it, some found it steadying in a crisis and some felt parts of it were a little unfair to the spouse who got hurt.
Good if you want something you can finish in a night.
Hold On to Your N.U.T.s, by Wayne Levine
A men's book about knowing what you stand for inside a relationship and holding to it.
Forum guys tend to recommend it right next to No More Mr. Nice Guy.
Good if you've bent on everything for so long you don't know what you'd hold the line on anymore.
How to pick one
If she's said divorce or moved out, start with number 1 or number 8.
If you've been the nice guy who can't figure out why nice stopped working, number 2 or number 10.
If she's distant and you're done chasing, number 4.
If you want the research first, number 5.
And read one, all the way through, before you buy the next three.
Keep going
More lists: the top 10 marriage authors for men, the programs husbands use, and a book vs counseling vs coaching.
If you want to know what's going on with her first, go to She's distant, checked out, done or I neglected her, is it too late?.
All the book pages are under Books for husbands.
Remember it's NEVER too late,
Noah